Man's heartbreak as wife collapses and dies suddenly at home - Hull Live

A heartbroken man whose wife collapsed suddenly and died at their home has paid tribute to "his world".

Karl Stevens, 57, a truck driver went to work one morning, only to become concerned when his wife, Sam, 48, did not call him as usual between 5.30am and 6am. When Sam's son was unable to reach her on the phone, emergency services attended the couple's home and tragically found Sam dead.

She had died from heart complications as a result of Multiple Sclerosis. Karl, who was married to Sam for 10 years, said: "Both for me and Sam it was perfection. We'd argue from time to time but 99.9 per cent we were great. It was a fantastic marriage and relationship. I could not have been more happy if I'd tried, she was everything to me, she was my world."

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Sam was a senior A&E nurse in Manchester before moving back to Bridlington, where she was brought up, and becoming a manager of nursing homes in Hull and East Yorkshire. She had Crohn's disease and about five years before her death was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Her mobility deteriorated and she had to use a wheelchair, but she continued to work full-time.

Since Sam's death on March 22, last year, Karl has struggled to cope with his devastating loss. He was provided with NHS mental health services support when he expressed suicidal thoughts following her death. But when the risk of suicide receded, he found support for his bereavement much harder to obtain.

For both Sam, pictured, and Karl it was their second marriage - he described their relationship and marriage as "fantastic". (Image: Karl Stevens)

"One organisation don't take on anybody for six months until after a loss," said Karl, who eventually obtained one-to-one counselling. But he was put back on a waiting list for a counsellor again after requesting a change. The counsellor offered only phone services and cancelled at short notice "three weeks on the trot".

He sought a bereavement group as he felt the best tailored support for him. He said: "I'm quite a sensitive and emotional sort of person. I found I wanted to be with others who've been through the same. People who've suffered grief understand what you're going through."

Karl did not find such a group and decided to take it upon himself to create one in Hull. He said: "All of the searches that were coming back were for dating sites for like widows and you don't want that.

Bereavement support in Hull and East Yorkshire

If you have recently experienced a bereavement and are struggling to manage or come to terms with the loss, these specialist wellbeing workers can potentially help.

Cruse Bereavement Care - 0808 808 1677 and helpline@cruse.org.uk ; 01482 565565 for the Hull and East Riding area.

Mind - 01482 240200 and info@heymind.org.uk

Let's Talk - 01482 247111

Dawn Bereavement Support - 01482 461232

"It sort of terrifies me in a way that other people are going through what I'm going through. The world just comes to an end for them. In my case, my wife's, there was no warning. It horrifies me to that other people are gonna be suffering."

Karl's free group will not have any trained therapists but will be a means for the bereaved and those supporting them to share their experiences and also memories of those they grieve. He hopes the group will help provide support to those in a similar position to him.

He has now found a venue for the meetings that plan to be held every first Saturday of each month at 10.30am, starting from September 3. The Reverend Chris van Straaten is supporting the initiative and offered facilities at St Andrew's Church, Grandale, to host the meetings.

"Every time I talk about her it's a knife to the heart but it also gives me a smile," said Karl of talking about his wife Sam. (Image: Karl Stevens)

Karl said: "I use the terminology of like an AA meeting. I appreciate it's not for everyone, some people keep their grief personal and private and that's up to them. There's no right way or wrong way with grief.

The self-help bereavement group will be free and all people have to provide is their first name. A voluntary contribution to church utilities is welcome.

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2022-07-23 04:00:00Z
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