Sir Keir Starmer says he was "shocked" by Rishi Sunak's jibe about the Labour leader's definition of a woman on the day Brianna Ghey's mother was visiting Parliament.
The PM had earlier accused him of using the transgender teen's murder to distract people from his U-turns.
But Sir Keir told the BBC Mr Sunak had a duty to make every person in the country "feel safe".
It was about "basic decency and respect", he said.
Brianna's father has called on Mr Sunak to apologise, but the prime minister declined to do so, saying his words to the Labour leader during Prime Minister's Questions had been "absolutely legitimate".
"I've nothing but the most heartfelt sympathy for [Brianna Ghey's] entire family and friends.
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"But to use that tragedy to detract from the very separate and clear point I was making about Keir Starmer's proven track record of multiple U-turns on major policies, because he doesn't have a plan, I think is both sad and wrong, and it demonstrates the worst of politics."
In a BBC interview, Sir Keir responded by saying Mr Sunak "shouldn't have said what he said in Prime Minister's Questions and he should apologise. The idea that I'm responsible for his words is through the looking glass."
"I think Rishi Sunak needs to do the decent thing, stop blaming everybody else - he said those words - actually bear some responsibility, do the right thing which is apologise."
Sir Keir added that he was "genuinely shocked" the prime minister "used those words" in front of the mother of a murdered girl.
"I'm not the only one, most of the Conservative MPs in the chamber went immediately quiet. This is not about party politics, it's about the basic decency and respect that matters to me.
"The role of the prime minister is to make sure that every single citizen, whatever their identity, their belief or background, every single person in this country should feel safe and should feel respected, and the prime minister broke that role yesterday and yes I was shocked."
The exchange that triggered the row took place in the Commons as Mr Sunak listed what he described as a number of Labour U-turns, accusing Sir Keir of changing his position on "defining a woman".
"Although in fairness, that was only 99% of a U-turn," he added. The comment referenced an interview in which Sir Keir said 99.9% of women do not have a penis when discussing the rights of people to identify as a different gender to the one they were born.
Sir Keir replied: "Of all the weeks to say that, when Brianna's mother is in this chamber. Shame.
"Parading as a man of integrity when he's got absolutely no responsibility."
Brianna's mother, Esther Ghey, said in a statement she did not want to comment on the remarks as her "focus is on creating a positive change and a lasting legacy for Brianna". She is supporting a campaign for mindfulness in schools.
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Esther Ghey was not in the public gallery on Wednesday for the exchange between the two leaders at Prime Minister's Questions, but arrived shortly afterwards.
Sixteen-year-old Brianna was murdered after being lured to a park and stabbed 28 times by teenagers Scarlett Jenkinson and Eddie Ratcliffe.
Asked about the prime minister's comments, Commons leader Penny Mordaunt said Mr Sunak was a "good and caring man", adding: "I'm sure that he has reflected on things.
"And that is not just about Mr and Mrs Ghey, that he should reflect on, but I am sure he is also reflecting about people who are trans or who have trans loved ones and family, some of whom sit on these green benches.
"I hope the leader of the opposition will also reflect on his actions too.
"This government has been right to protect the safety and dignity of woman at each stage of doing so has sought to bring certainty and assurance to trans people.
"This government is also right to hold the opposition to account for its multiple inconsistencies and u-turns on its policy platform."
But former minister Paul Scully said Mr Sunak should apologise. Speaking on BBC Two's Politics Live, the Tory MP said: "If it was me I would probably pick up the phone to Brianna's father."
He added he had "no doubt that Rishi is compassionate" and accused opposition parties of whipping up "confected outrage" around the comments.
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2024-02-08 18:35:25Z
CBMiL2h0dHBzOi8vd3d3LmJiYy5jby51ay9uZXdzL3VrLXBvbGl0aWNzLTY4MjM5MjMz0gEzaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmJjLmNvLnVrL25ld3MvdWstcG9saXRpY3MtNjgyMzkyMzMuYW1w
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